Surgical Posting

 Hai new entry since long time ago.

Today, I am planning (not a 1/2 plan, few minutes plan to write here, to share with you my life update and rants).

I am currently/literally at the end of my first week of Surgical Posting at HTAA. I was posted at HTAA for 3 weeks. First weeks was overall good and not so, I will tell you why.

I am entering this new posting with new hope and spirit, I planned to work harder, to put much more effort in this block and target to get distinction and be satisfied with it, with my efforts. I want to study more, clerk more and examine more. I wanr to increase my alertness, my clinical and social skills. Plus, I've planned to enter this block with my dearest friends.

First few days was good. Learning and adapting, but after that, it became awkward. My friend had problem adjusting and she let it out on us. Even though, she did not say anything or do anything. But, by did not do anything is doing something. Started the morning with her moody self. I am so awkward in that moment. Why?

Should we just accept how it is, because she had problem to adjust,

Or we intervene and do something.

From my background, yes, everyone had problem adjusting but we need to ADJUST. How you gonna do it, up to yourself. Because in medical, no one gonna wait for you. You YOURSELF have to change.

And if it is your problem, don't act like it is othet problem. Others too had their own personal problem and problem in adjusting, just like you.

I know I should not feel hurted for what she did but she did hurted me, my feelings. I know I shouldn't feel hurted with one's having mental problems, but I don't know how to react/intervene in this situation.

If that how you are borned with, this is how I was borned with.

Plus, we had few misunderstanding in the group. I dont understand, if you are not ok with something, do something and express your unsatisfaction. Actually, I am tired of doing everything, initiating everything but why I am doing that? Not because I like to lead or even even happy to do it. 

Why?

I do it because I know that if I didn't, no one would do it and even if they do it, they do it carelessly and I would be annoyed.

That's all my rant before entering week 2. I hope I release them all before starting again.

Positive sides is Alhamdulillah and syukur, I passes with distinction for my O&G posting. I will work harder, study harder, play petanque harder, be more optimistic, grab opportunities as many as possible in this new block, learn how to manage time, financial and emotions better. I am striving to be better human, worshipper, student and child. I want to be a better human everyday.

Don't let the environment changes you. Let you change the environment. 

Fighting and never lose hope, Dr Affisa!

P/s: I know that I am not a selfish person as now I've met selfishier person that I am. Be patient affisa. You should show yourself as a leader if you are the leader, what's more if you are a man. 

2245hrs

150123

Kuantan